One of Google’s top searched phrases of 2022 was “how to change…” It seems more and more are getting fed up with the life they have and want to know – am I stuck with it? Or can I change it?
For anybody wondering the answer to this question, I have good news: you are not your past. At any moment, you can choose a new story for who you are and what your life can be. You are the ultimate creator of your life.
Most of us think life is what happens to us. Yet we don’t actually experience what happens to us. We experience the thoughts we think and stories we tell about what happens to us.
Many of those habitual thoughts and stories are based on our past experiences, which can be why it feels like we constantly relive the past. Once we start to tell new stories, our experience of life starts to change.
It takes just as much effort to think the thought “everyone is out to get me” as it does “everything always works out for me.” Your belief creates a filter, or lens, through which you experience the world. Since you see life through that lens, you will experience more and more evidence to show you that your belief is correct.
– Here are a few reasons why this is –
Your brain doesn’t look for the facts. It looks for situations that reinforce what you believe is your truth. If you tell the story “everyone is out to get me,” then it will continue to highlight all the ways in your life that’s true: the car that cut you off. The grocer that accidentally overcharged you. The jobs you continue not to get.
Let’s take the example of the car. Maybe the fact for that car is they’re having a medical emergency and had to quickly merge in front of you. Yet through the lens you see your life through, you’ll see yourself as the victim because you had to slam on your brakes, which made you spill your coffee.
In every moment, you are co-creating with the universe. The generous universe gives you more of that which you focus on. Again, if your habitual thinking tells you “everyone is out to get you,” the universe says, “well, they want everyone to be out to get them. Let’s make that happen.” And it will line up that item to fall off the cart and trip you just as you’re walking by.
– So, is changing your life as easy as changing the stories you tell about life? –
As with many self-improvement topics, there is both an ease and complexity to this.
We are all wired to fit in. If your social circle is telling you that you need a college degree to be successful, and you don’t have one, it takes courage to break from the pack and believe you can be successful without one. Our societal conditioning runs deep. Yet it’s not an insurmountable barrier. Again, you get to choose the stories you tell about your life. Once you start telling them, and really believing them, the universe will go to work for you.
The other component I haven’t really talked about here is our emotions. The way we feel in our body is intricately tied to the thoughts we are thinking. Think of our feelings as a barometer to the quality of our thoughts. If our thoughts support the brilliant beings that we are, we tend to feel light and expansive. If our thoughts hold us back from becoming that brilliant being, we feel heavy and constrictive.
As I started shifting my life from overwhelmed working mom to self-employed coach and entrepreneur, my feelings played an important role in how I created the story of my new life. I shared a little about the connection between our thoughts and feelings here.
The good news, though, is you don’t need to become an emotional intelligence expert to start experiencing change in your life right now. Focusing solely on your beliefs – or the thoughts you habitually think – is a powerful way to get you going in the right direction. Once that gets you to a good place and you’re ready to level up even more, then you can start learning about your emotions.
– To get you going, I offer you a couple exercises. Choose which feels good to you. –
If you are a habitual complainer – you love to highlight all the places in your experience where you were wronged, or something you perceive as bad happened – choose to stop doing that. Decide you’re going to start looking for the good in more situations.
Notice your core beliefs about the world and who you are in it. Can you shift it to something that feels more empowering, like “everything is always working out for me,” or “no matter what, I’m supported?”
If you stayed engaged this far in my post, then you’ve got what it takes. I’m cheering you on.
The way I see it, living your best possible life happens when you live from the authentic, expansive part of you, not the conditioned, limited part of you. If you’re ready to take the first step in aligning to your authentic self, grab my FREE PDF guide, 3 Ways to Tap Into the Authentic You, here. I also share content via email that I don’t share here on the blog. If you are interested in what I am sharing, grab the guide so you don’t miss out!
I (Andrea) am a Transformational Coach and Spiritual Mentor. I am passionate about helping female leaders who lost themselves in their work reconnect with their inner radiance!
Learn more about me: https://andreaandree.com/
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